The Slow Drip

            My new askesis promises to be more disciplined and more purposeful.  When I wrote of my “before” paper, I merely listed various things I do.  While I would say that each of them is done for a purpose, the list I compiled was somewhat random and meandering.  This paper, the “after” askesis, has the benefit of three months of study, reflection, and thought.  The following disciplines and practices represent my commitment to a God-ward life.

            Ingesting Scripture.  The Bible is vital to any growing Christian.  I intend to take it into my mind and heart in several ways.  First, I will study the Bible.  In the past, formal Bible study seemed lifeless and draining.  This semester, through a variety of events, most notably my involvement in teaching ministry, the study of the Bible has come alive.  Digging into a text yields not only knowledge, and some discipline, but also as I consider the meaning it is applied to my life and heart as well.  This is teaching from the excess.  God teaches me first and then I am able to teach others. 

Second, I will continue to read large swaths of the Bible with a spiritual posture.  This is the opposite of Bible study where small things make big differences.  Instead, I read to be spoken to, to hear God’s story and to take it in.  Thirdly, I will memorize larger sections of the Bible.  Over the summer I plan to continue work on memorizing (and studying) Romans 8 which has become a mantra of sorts for me.  This represents a departure for me.  I used to be quite hostile to the idea of memorization but I now realize that holding Scripture in my mind and heart is often used by God.  It helps me to change my thoughts as Dallas Willard recommends.  When I am tempted to think about sinful things, I recall the passage I am memorizing and my heart is redirected.  Jesus seemed to do this as he responded with Scripture to Satan’s temptations.  He quoted the passage he apparently was meditating on.  If it is good enough for Jesus, it is good enough for me.

Prayer.  What I have learned about prayer in this course is that it is varied and diverse.  I had still considered prayer basically asking God for things or talking at him with some listening involved.  Now I understand God interacts with us.  Prayer is a conversation that sometimes involves listening and sometimes talking and sometimes following a script.  One practice I intend to follow through the rest of the year is the praying of the psalms.  This practice sticks out to me as one that will be beneficial and helpful.  The psalms help us learn to express our hearts to God and give voice to things we otherwise cannot find the words for.

Also under the category of prayer, I include the practice of silence and solitude.  My wife and I have agreed that we each need to spend two or three days on retreat twice a year.  My turn is next and I will go to Sacred Heart for a weekend in the early weeks of summer.  The disciplines of silence and solitude are strongly contrasted with daily life, especially a life with small children.  Demands are constantly flooding in.  Getting away to a place where even my cell phone will not ring is a helpful respite.  It also helps me to remember to listen to God.  All the other voices cease and I am able to be still.  This is a discipline that I hope to practice for the rest of my life no matter where God leads.

Fasting.  I did my main research paper on the discipline of fasting.  Once again, this is a discipline I would have otherwise been wary of and avoided.  But practice of fasting taught me a lot about myself and God.  I have entertained the idea of fasting at least one day before I teach or preach though I have not yet committed to it.  What I found fasting valuable for was engaging my body and heart and mind all at once.  Instead of being a purely cerebral or spiritual activity like so many other disciplines are, fasting brings out my weakness when it comes to my body.  I also wrote in the paper that fasting helps me to practice the redirection of thought away from food to spiritual things.  In temptation the same redirection is necessary.  I found this valuable and will continue to practice it.  Fasting helps me to want God more than to want to please my body.

Community.  Practicing being in community has not always been easy for me.  In fact, I could say I really do not like it.  It is wonderful when people are interested in me and what I am doing but I do not really want to have to pretend to be interested in them.  Entering community as a discipline, though, changes that.  I have to give myself up in order to be genuinely concerned for the wellbeing of others.  I also have to be genuinely open and honest about myself which is scary.  Now that my TM sequence is completed, I see the value of community and will look for people to know and to be known by.  It may be with an individual or two or it may be with a small group but it must be.

Community also includes corporate worship.  Singing praise to God, hearing testimonies, seeing baptisms, being united in Communion are all important connections to the Body of Christ.  In them, I submit to God together with those around me.  Worship services offer the opportunity to get the Word in different ways.  Singing moves things to the heart much more quickly than only hearing them.

Most of all, I will try to orient my heart around the things of God.  All of these disciplines are simply ways of helping me to do that.  They are reminders of God’s grace in my life and the commitment I made to follow him.  They help me to keep my eyes on the prize, to obtain my part in the Kingdom while longing for more and more of it.  I will not perfectly practice any of them, but I will press on toward the goal of Christ-likeness.

Those of you who I have spoken with in the last week or so have heard me say some pretty amazing things.  God is really working on both Jodi and I and we are thriving spiritually, in our marriage, in worship, etc.  I have called it perhaps the happiest time of our marriage.  That might seem like an exaggeration.  Certainly it's not something anyone should expect in the midst of all the challenges we have.  But it is where we are.

As I've talked with you, I wonder how you perceive what could sound like platitudes or niceties.  I used to really hate them until this period of my life.  They were really incomprehensible to me.  To say something like "the joy of the Lord is my strength" just made no sense.  But now I find a song like "Trading My Sorrows" constantly on my lips.  It makes sense because God is our strength.  Jodi and I are living surrendered lives right now.  It sounds so fluffy and could be said so easily.  Yet, I don't say them lightly.

There is a sense, too, that to say something like I just wrote must have a tinge of pride to it.  Yet, there is no pride.  We both know-and you know-that this journey has been so much more about what God is doing in our lives than what we're doing.  He has conquered the fire-breathing dragon that was my fear.  He is working the rock of trying to control from Jodi's shoe.  He is the ONE!  To Him be all the glory, all the praise, all the honor.  I couldn't write a more sincere sentence that gets so abused when it is turned into a platitude.

I’ve had it with Senator McCain. Today he’s out there saying that all the conservatives opposing him should “Just calm down.” Calm down? Calm down? That’s like asking a dog to calm down right before gets neutered. I don’t think so.

McCain also says we should “see if there are any areas that we can agree on for the good of the party and the good of the country.” On what issues does he think we can agree? Immigration? No, he sponsored a bill with Ted Kennedy (Kennedy!!!) that offered amnesty to illegal immigrants. The base, including me, does not agree that amnesty–no matter what you call it–is best for the country.

What about the urgent need for conservative judges? Strike two. McCain not only joined but led the Gang of 14 in opposing his own party leaders betraying some very fine judges in the process. What about the Gang of 14 suggests we should trust McCain to appoint conservative justices to the Supreme Court? McCain’s incessant desire to “reach across the aisle” will lead him to appoint judges that are acceptable to the left. And that is simply unacceptable to the right.

Maybe we can agree on economic issues. The conservative position on the economy is that tax cuts are good for everyone. What was Senator McCain’s position on the Bush tax cuts? Once again, McCain stood opposed to a very basic tenet of conservatism. No agreement there.

That’s three strikes against Senator McCain. Unfortunately for his candidacy, they keep coming. He’s voted against the marriage amendment. He’s sponsored legislation that restricts freedom of speech during campaigns. The chances for agreement are dwindling.

In fact, the only issue, as far as I can tell, that Senator McCain and I hold in common is his support of the war. Even on this issue McCain’s record is blemished. He called for Rumsfeld’s head not once but many times. McCain has opposed the president publicly over and over. How is that good for the party? That’s just not an issue we can agree on.

Well, it seems we have run out of issues. On nearly every issue near and dear to this conservative’s heart, Senator McCain has continually and deliberately split from the party line. That is why, should he receive the nomination, I will not vote for him. I understand completely the consequences of this course of action. Some conservatives will bite the bullet and pull his lever. But there are no good reasons to think he can be trusted to carry the conservative mantle. I for one, don’t trust Senator McCain as far as I could throw him. That is not good for him and it is not good for our party.

Last week we took the kiddos ice skating.  Jodi and I had a ton of fun but the kids weren't so sure.  It took them quite awhile to get used to skates.  By the time they did it was time to go.

  And I fell on my behind a couple of times...

Three days into my media fast, I am ready to make some initial observations.  First, old habits are hard to break.  I've written about this already.  So far the hardest part is when I get in the car and reach for the radio to turn it on only to remember that I'm not doing that right now.  Coming home from work is the worst time.  I love to listen to Hugh Hewitt especially on nights like last night with the Michigan primary.  I'm sure he was ecstatic because of Romney's win.  It was likely great radio but it entered my head only as radio waves passing through rather than sound waves heard and understood.

Television is my other great battle.  Over the weekend, I permitted myself a movie and a couple of football games.  I watched 3:10 to Yuma while Jodi was at a friend's house playing games.  Great movie.  There were some great football games, too.  The difficulty for me is when I get home from a long day of work.  Since we got Tivo a year ago, I've taken to watching reruns of Seinfeld.  I enjoy the laughs, especially the sarcastic remarks and strange situations they get themselves into.  But ever notice all the sexual themes in that show?  Rampant sex with anyone who is willing it seems.  And I wonder when my thoughts tend that way.  No, I cannot let that continue.  It is not innocent fun to sit and watch TV all night.  It is the insidious infiltration of the values of a culture far removed from God.

The second point is opposite of the first.  New habits are Ihard to form.  As much as I like to read, sometimes it is the last thing I feel like doing after a 100 phone call day apologizing to every moron who happens to have an account with us.  Scripture, for all its power, takes more concentration than I am prepared to give by that time of night.  Especially after putting the kiddos to bed.  Persistence is not a virtue I have yet mastered.  Yet, I believe the calling of the Christian life requires relentless perseverance.

Well, that's it for now.  We're taking the kiddos to the museum today.  Maybe we'll have some good pictures to post!